Guys Just Wanna Have Fun Too

I was supposed to play "the rock" in a local community theatre version of Ozma of Oz until i got the chicken pox on opening day. I was devastated, the Wizard of Oz series were my favorite books and all I dreamt of doing was opening the stony gate to the Nome king for Dorothy and her friends.Instead I stayed home that week tucked into a purple rode sucking down soup and watching Nick Jr. until my dad left and I would change it to Jerry Springer. 

My dad knew how much the show meant to me, and I'm sure this was a moment he wished he had super-dad healing powers. Without any supernatural gifts, he still tried to make things better. We were avid board game players and I had been wanting Pretty Pretty Princess for ,like, EVER, DAD! But we mostly played Clue, Life, Payday and of course, Don't Wake Daddy (please). 

I was taking a nap when I heard him come home and that beautiful breeze of fresh air followed him into the room, the best smell in the world when your sick. He put down his briefcase and took off his jacket as normal, and sat next to me on the bed.

"How're you feeling?" He said as he put his hand to my forehead.

"Okay" I muttered back

"What do you want to do tonight?

"I dunno, I'm kinda hungry" I was always hungry.

"Okay, well we can order in. Do you want to play a game while we wait?"

"No, I'm okay. Can we just watch T.V.?"

"Okay" My dad turned the TV on for me, left the room and came back. Enthralled Who's Line is it Anyway? I hardly noticed him when he put something across the snotty tissue collection on my bed next to me. I looked down and it was Pretty Pretty Princess, in the pretty pretty flesh. 

As sick as I felt, I jumped out of bed and buried him in a huge hug. When we played that night he had no bars held when wearing the plastic clip on earrings and necklaces, I think he was even supposed to win the tiara but let me win instead. 

I always thought my dad would be the only male in my life to care about doing these little girlie things with with me, just cause he had to. Duh, he's my dad! But then again, I never even thought to invite my guy friends to do any of these fun things with me.

Instead I had been searching for a girl gang to join or start. Honestly even just one girl friend to talk to, for some reason I felt like they would be easier for me to connect with. But since the only friends I have are guys, we do things like play pool, kick back listening to metal, shoot hoops, watch the game and then play pool again. Don't get me wrong, I love pool and I love my friends but sometimes in the middle of a game my mind wanders off to thinking about a cat portrait collection I'd like to paint with glitter, painting my nails with little daisies , or the how-to I've been meaning to follow to make saddle shoes from my white keds (which are done, and are rad. Thank you).

In my search to find girls, I think I may have come off too strong because I was so excited and my constant requests to get a Ouija board, dress up in flowey white dresses and flower crowns to conjure up Judy Garland was a little overwhelming. I sat around bumming myself out for a minute, but then I realized I had never asked my real friends that I had been excluding just cause they're guys to do these fun things with me.

So yesterday when my friend texted me around the time we were supposed to hang out "What do you want to do?" and I was tired of saying "pool?" I finally said it...

"I've been wanting to make a Ouija board to conjure up ghosts, but we don't have to do that"

A little nervous and trying to occupy myself with a book I couldn't pay attention to, my heart jumped when my phone buzzed back.

"Hell yeah, that sounds tight"

Really? Okay, awesome! My friend came over, we searched for a piece of wood, sketched out the board and took out the wood burning tool. I started it out and figured he might have been nice and just wanted to hang out with me while I made the thing, but NO! He asked if he could burn some letters in too! I was shocked, but I still don't know why. Boy or girl, burning shit is fun. 

So while he did that I took the opportunity to put on some Jesus candles that I had turned into character candles for each of the Skins (UK) cast. I thought no one else but myself would think this was cool, but I took it out anyway. While lighting them my friend asked about how I made them, what materials to use and where to get the candles cause he wants to make one for his favorite metal dudes.

I was so excited to finally be talking about these things that I liked with someone that wasn't through tumblr. Soon enough my other buddy came over cause he heard we were almost done with the board, and when he got here he just threw on a flower crown with me, we put on the rest of the candles and tried to meet Judy. 

For a second there I of course thought, "These guys are only doing this cause I'm their friend and they have to" But they didn't have to, I didn't force them, I hardly even asked them. And now I'm realizing, neither did my dad. I had been so blinded by girl power that I assumed my guy friends has already excluded themselves from my interests. I was excluding them though, I somehow forgot all those times we hung out searching for ghosts in abandoned correctional facilities, playing poker with flowers, exchanging each other's writing, making zines and tapes together, the meaningless road trips to China Beach and Treasure Island, playing Nicki Minaj with the Kids Bop versions and laughing at the differences, playing music together, and doing all of those other joyful things that come out of a friendship like talking, and getting to know each other.

I know there might be times when I wish I could blatantly tell somehow how much my period is killing me this week, but I think I can live with that, as long as I get to keep my friends. And honestly the one time I was "caught" buying tampons with them, I offered to leave because of the huge line, but they kindly told me they didn't mind the wait.

It's a brighter day with this new realization, I don't feel like I need to hide a huge part of myself because I assume everyone will think it's lame, honestly, I think my dad really wanted to win the tiara and my that friends had been waiting for an excuse to put flowers in their hair since they moved to San Francisco. Next time I won't hesitate a second to ask them to do what I think are considered "girlie" or "lame" cause, guys just wanna have fun too.