dude, where's my life?

I've got text for you today, I've been neglecting blogging for a bit, I know I'm sorry but I swear I'll make it up to you. I've actually been working on my other blog for a magazine that I would like to start focusing on unique, bold, fun fashion and music. It's been taking some work but in the end it'll be all the worth in the world for me! I am also getting ready for my film class that I'm enrolled in for January 17th. Uggghhhh could not go slower to get there!! In the mean time I have a small project I'm working on to a really bad "poem" that I wrote. I am going to have to just film myself since anyone I ask to act for me ignores my requests, literally. I felt helpless. So gotta work with what I got.  Here's the poem, and some pictures of Charlotte Free, I discovered who she was yesterday going through British Vouge. She's gorgeous AND awesome. Let's face it folks....

I'm fucking jealous. 

i told myself i was going to do something with today,

water the plants, feed the cat, do some dishes,

and then i will be ready 

ready to get my shit together and make something of myself.

to not be my regular shlum self , making excuses to push projects back, waiting for school to start , waiting until the end of the day.

Spending hours looking at apartments I could never afford in places I'd be lucky enough to see,

 it seems i'm hoping I'll win the lottery without buying a ticket. 

where is my life headed at the pace i'm going?

my walls are heavily decorated to keep my wandering eyes occupied as I keep myself locked in my room most of time. 

i tell myself tomorrow 

tomorrow i will go out, leave the house

leave the neighborhood

take pictures, read in the park , see a friend.

tomorrow

today it's better if i stay inside 

stay in my room.

tomorrow

i will make something of myself. 

today is now tomorrow

today is the day

today i'll do something with myself,

i'll water the plants , feed the cat, do some dishes , grab a coffee then i'll make something of myself

update Facebook status…hmmm..was that dumb? …

should i delete that? 

no i think my humor translates…

no sales on easy today…

today 

the words glide before my bare eyes.

shower

all of my best thinking is in the shower.

(singing)

(getting ready) god i can't stand to look at myself. 

i couldn't do my make up faster or in a darker room

what the fuck to wear?

who cares?

well if i'm going to leave the house maybe i should dress up

(3-4 outfits later dresses plain) 

hmm..i wonder if anyone thought that was funny..(goes to Facebook status) 

c'mon!!

(smoking a cigarette looking at the messy room trying o clean)

i should really clean. i can't do anything until i clean.

(cleans)

well now it's pretty dark out earlier, day light savings time. hmm…maybe i should just go out tomorrow. today is no good

tomorrow 

tomorrow i'll change my life

tomorrow i'll skip the shower and get up earlier

tomorrow

well now tomorrow is today.

-me

oh yeah this is for a film , this is just the narration of it. 

I've been really inspired by the beautiful grittiness of a carney life, i pulled up some of these pictures that have inspired me. I love the ruffles, prints, beading, feathers, make up and just plain fun! Hope you enjoy these photos as well, with some pictures of Allison Harvard. 

 I just wanted to put these pictures in here because i love Allison from Americas next top model, haha. She's my ideal model/best friend 

Whoa, so it's been a while since I've blogged about anything. Sorry, kids. I've even been gone so long that I didn't realize that blogger made things soooo much easier to upload bulk pictures at one time. So I don't know what kind of order I'm looking at but I guess I'll start with the one that is completely in the middle of when I left you last and now. 

So part of the reason why I've been gone is I'VE MADE FRIENDS!!!!! (currently patting myself on the shoulder) This picture is from when we all last minuet decided to get out of the city and go to China Camp, right outside of Marin. It's a great spot my dad and I would go to for the same reasons. You drive for about 15 minuets through vast flat lands that are surrounded by small mountains and the bay. My favorite part is the village, which was also a dock and a place to cure the fish and shrimp. In the 1950's people started getting really interested in all of the abandoned landmarks in California and various other ghost towns, so obviously China Camp was taken over as a national park and was redecorated with coke ads and a diner. Well now that's all abandoned and it doesn't come up much in the search engines on people's iphones, so I thought I'd bring it up. this is a picture of the dock. 

This was the same day, after China Camp we headed to ...what is that place called again? I don't know somewhere that housed a friend more north. Petaluma? Nooo. Well we went to Q-zar/ Paintball Mania that had a small arcade and in there...well sadly we found some children's lower back tattoos. Thankfully temporary. 

So I was hoping the Ghost Bro's picture would come up first but it looks like this is the order that blogger picked for me. so go to the end of this post to see what I'm talking about.. Ghost's Bro's with a fucked cat

Also have been playing shit tons of poker. And I still stand by the fact that I don't win because I'm a girl, but because I won, alright?? Watch Next one's an Ace and I river that 8. Freaking side picture, sorry. 

new camera, trying it out

duh , simpsons are aces.

spent a weekend with my two beautiful sisters, my dad and ma belle-mere. we carved some pumpkins. It was fur sure worth mentioning. 

soizic's, jade's, mine, dad's and the middle is chloe's

ahhh happy customer at a fair. I was soo happy that this went to someone that wanted it so badly. She put it on right away and wore it all day. Thank You!!!

Hecho Local booth. So fun to be there. great music, great food, good times! I had my first fashion show because of Hecho Local, so Thank you too!

my little trinkets. i love glittery bugs. should I put them on etsy????

A lot of these things are gone now. I miss them just a tad. 

me and my cat. 

alcatraz!!!!!!!!!!!

 So......do you believe in ghosts???

Still a skeptic, eh?

You obviously haven't seen ghost adventures yet. How can you NOT believe Zac Bagans? 

Well we've been inspired and have gotten our crew ready to find some ghosts!! I wish my sarcasm came out more in the way I wrote . Well we are going to ghost hunt but just for shits and giggles. 

Ghost Bro's 

cumming soon

this drawing was a collaboration piece with some of the inmates at San Quintin , I found this little piece int here and it made my day I actually jolted and said out loud "ohh" and the man standing next to me laughed "i was hoping someone other than myself noticed that" i love finding old hidden punks in san francisco, he looked like he could've been friends with jello. 

no slow jams video

no slow jams designs. go on take a look.

music by bratmobile "eating toothpaste"

getting ready for the ghostly west.

I have been absorbing myself with all of the information possible to retain about the gold rush/ wild west. At the same time I have been reading "to hell on a fast horse" about billy the kid, "tales of the tombstone" which is a collection of stories from the west, watching movies like crazy and opening my ears more often for the history that lays beneath all of this trash in san francisco. the book that i have been spending the most time with is "Madeline" it's an autobiography, which i love , nothing is better than a first hand account, and i feel like i know her. not like reading other books about prostitutes, she tells stories about her time in the "houses" and her experiences with other girls. She didn't drink, and she was highly intelligent for her class, age and time.

When I am done with this book, I feel I will go over page repeatedly until they are disintegrated.
This is not Madeline on the cover, another reason why I am so intrigued, I haven't put much effort into finding out if this is true, but from what I know she is the only person with accounts of herself. Why everyone should at one time sit down and write about their life. Because one day some years from now, when someone is trying to tell history in one way, they'll have your account to prove them wrong.
Rosa May. Beautiful prostitute of Virginia City, who later moved onto Bodie, Ca ( a ghost town i have yet to see, when brian and i went high in the sierra's just to see Bodie, the roads were closed due to excessive snow fall, hug bummer)

She was a good person and took care of the men she visited in more than one day, she helped to heal sick and gave money to the poor. but she was hated by every woman in the city of Bodie where she settled. I am reading a book written about This guy trying to find more out about her, it's written in the 70's so the guy says "whore" all the time, which is highly inappropriate and other types of language that we would steer clear from publishing now a days. Not to mention he reflects his stories back to himself , he's not a very good writer (at all) He mis-spelled Hawthorne writing "Hawthorme" which i can see the mistake, but c'mon buddy.

This is also harder to read after reading "Madeline" because this guy is trying to paint a picture of what it would look like and it seemed like he had just been watching a shit ton of Bonanza. (funny, because rosa may lived on a street named Bonanza)

speaking of Bonanza, Miss Lotta Cabtree was portrayed in the pilot episode. She was a young girl when she started on the stage in San Francisco , she entertained the miners that needed to be reminded of their children, as she sang and danced she made the miners cry for home. by the time she was 12 Lola Montez ( famous west singer) had found her and saw talent right away. She asked Lotta's mother if she could take her to europe , since at this time they had been in Grass Valley for a couple of years . She refused and saw potential back in San Francisco where acts were everywhere like crazy, but child actors were the ticket to fame and fortune. Because (sadly) when a man sees another woman, he hardly thinks of his wife, but when he sees a child, his children soon come to mind.

Lotta donate a drinking fountain for the horses of San Francisco, which is now at the intersection of Kearny and Market. I think i had lunch there one day, without knowing. I will go back and take some pictures for next time.
This is me getting ready for the west with my gunne sax dress, bonnet, wicker handbag, compass and whiskey
The bonnet on the left is a historical piece, not sure how old but too old for me to wear everyday, i tried getting pictures of the stitching where you can see that it is all hand done, but i couldn't get a good photo. the one of the right is one that i made based on my theory of how the other one was made.

wicker basket for he trip

brian took pictures as i got a personalized no slow jams box ready for a customer

add a note and a little gift

get it in there all pretty like

this one is little plain due to my not having anymore spray paint

Dry erase markers rule.

my cat can be the most annoying creature in the world, but i do lover her so much.

I can leave you with my favorite way to cook brussels sprouts. they have a bad reputation and i'd like to clear it fro them. and no i'm not some weirdo vegan / vegetarian freak. i just really like brussels sprouts

3-4 tablespoons of vegetable oil

salt

pepper

1/5 onion

some brussels sprouts

in a small pan start with heating up the vegetable oil while you cut the onion, which i have a special way of doing that prevents crying... below

sprinkle a bit of salt and pepper in the oil and then let the onion saute for about 2 minuets, cook on medium

while that sautes you can cut the brussels sprouts in half lengthwise so when you put them in you make sure to put the flat side down in the pan

let them saute for a bit, you might need to add some more vegetable oil if it seems like the pan is drying out, because you really want that cripsy-ness

next you just keep flipping, stirring and having fun .

should take about 6-10 minuets to cook. no time at all to prepare.

sounds like artists food to me.

******if you cut the onion in half from top to bottom, then take one of the halves after peeling the outer layer and cut off the top, i should have taken pictures and i probably will do this again, but if you cut length-wise so your not cutting anything off, just making slices that stay attached to the bottom root, then slice again in layers from the point where you cut the other half of the onion, to the other side******

that was hard.