My momma was one of them southern ladies you'd get introduced to first thing at the salon while blue haired elderly women and married christian ladies sat in a blow dryer chair, flipping through magazines and talkin' on about this weeks gossip in town.
"Did you hear the latest on Mrs. Rose Sinclair? Or should I say Ms. Rose Sinclair?" The christian women raise an eyebrow.
"I heard her husband took five minutes to pack up one bag. He threw it over his shoulder in the middle of the night, and just left," The elderly woman snaps her fingers, " like that. Didn't say nothing'. An' on top of that, he left the kids sleeping. Didn't kiss em' or nothin"
The hair dresser smacks his lips as he's teasing her hair. "Now, you don't know nothing like that."
"I do"
One of the christian women would lean in "Where you hear that from Sue?"
"Why, the whole town's talkin' bout it" Sue goes back to her magazine. "Shoot, I thought ya'll would have heard it too"
The whole town was always talkin bout my momma. My momma, my grandmomma, me, my brother Buddy and my lil sister Tootie. We was like radio celebrities, everyone knew who we were, what we been doin' , where we'd been, and all the little details my momma tried so hard to hide.
I was 15 when we lived in Fayetteville, it was the day before my birthday when we left Hank in Little Rock. Sure, I missed my friends but I hated Hank more. I was glad to leave. My brother Buddy screamed the whole way over. Sittin in the backseat of our volkswagon, smushed between a stack of boxes and Tootie yelling cause she needs to go to the bathroom.
The July heat in the afternoon would cook you like a bug under a magnifine glass. The windows rolled down, we didn't have any air conditioning only some torn up paper fans we took from church. Within 20 minutes of the drive the kids were asleep and then momma would start.
"Now look, I know you wanna scream in my face 'I told you so'. But instead of doin' that, why don't you just be an adult about it and we can just move on?" If she only knew how happy I was to be gone, she wouldn't need to say nothing. " For the first week or so I'm gonna have to keep you home before putting you school. Grandmomma needs some help getting back on her feet and so do we." Momma used to smack her gum, and when she felt guilty or didn't wanna tell you something she'd suck on it, like she was enjoying the flavor before it's gone. She'd take it out of her mouth and stick it to one of the empty soda pop cans in the drink holder. "We scratch her back, she scratches ours. You scratch mine, I'll scratch yours. It's the way the world works, sweet pea."
The kids were still asleep when we pulled up to grandmomma's trailer. I woke Buddy up and he went whining to the front door after momma. I went to the other side, unbuckled Tootie and picked her up into my arms. When I turned around momma, grandmomma and Buddy were already inside. Momma always knew how to make me feel welcome.
The three of us children stayed in a room together. The first night Buddy slept on the floor while Tootie and I stayed in the cot grandmomma made for us in the corner next to the window. Everyone was asleep, but it felt like christmas eve to me. I couldn't wait to wake up the next day to live my new life in Fayetteville. I pulled back the curtain as little dust bunnies started to snow above my head and i got an idea of what kind of back scratching' I'll be doing.
Over the next few weeks I still didn't go to school. Instead I fixed the house up, took the kids to school, made breakfast lunch and dinner, and took care of grandmomma while she chain-smoked and watched soap operas in between tanning appointments and trips to the salon to see her gals. Momma started working at the diner in town 5 nights a week. She was doin so good over there she said I might be able to get back to school soon.
One night I was heating up some chicken fingers and french fries when momma snuck in through the front door and into her room. I think she was trying to get past me without me noticing, but I did.
"Momma, I'm makin chicken! You want some?"
She didn't bother comin in, she just hollered from her room "Nah, that's alright sweet pea. I'm not hungry right now. I ate a bit at the diner"
"Alright well, I'm not cookin anymore tonight. You want me to save you some?"
"I'm okay, hun!"
I put a few extra fries in the microwave and a handful of nuggets in the oven.
I struggled to get Buddy to leave his sister alone and let Tootie eat her own food while grandmomma smacked his hand every time her pot would boil.
"Leave your sister alone and for god's sake, chew with your mouth closed!"
It was a normal dinner without momma. When every one was done granmomma left to go to Ernie's and the kids watched cartoons while I cleared the table. I could smell my momma's sunflower perfume before she walked into the room.
"What do you think? Mommas still got it?"
I turned around to my mother draped in clinging chiffon fabric hugging at her thighs and a low neck line exposing her top parts. Her hair was done up to the sky with little rhinestone earrings decorating her face. And boy, she had on eyeshadow and she done rouge up her cheeks.
"You look beautiful Momma!" Tootie comes running into the kitchen.
"Go sit back down and watch TV." I couldn't help but get a little frustrated at Tootie, but I find a way to win her back "If you do, I got some ice cream for you."
She squealed back to the couch just to sit through a commercial while I had it out with momma.
"We are not gone for one month and you are already going on a date? What are you thinking?"
Momma stood calmly in front of me and hooked her eye in such a way that would make my heart curl with anticipation. She never seemed so evil to me as when she looked at me with the power of her title, 'Momma'.
"Miss. Cheyenne. Now, who do you think you are?" Her breath smelled like cigarettes and mint as she chewed her words in my face. There wasn't nothing I could do with her. She wouldn't listen to a god damn thing I would say.
"Get out of my way, before I slap you so hard you don't recognize yourself" I fought back a waterfall of tears and unclenched my fist to wipe the sweat off on my jeans. There wasn't nothing I could do with her. I just got out of her way. And she done pushed me even more just 'cause.
I stayed awake all night till momma got back home and couldn't go back to sleep cause she and her date were still having a good time in her room. I met him the next morning when he came into the kitchen while momma was still asleep. The kids were watching saturday morning tv and eating pancakes like zombies nibbling at flesh, pieces just sliding from their mouths and on to their laps.
"Can I get one of those there, darlin'?" He pointed at the flapjacks behind me.
"Sure" I nudged my head towards the plate, "get it yourself"
He chuckled and slivered to get himself one, two, three. "You got any maple?"
I did, but it was in the fridge and I ain't doing no favors for him "No"
"You must be Cheyenne. Your momma says you got a bit of an attitude." He sat down, folded up his pancakes into rolls and shoved them into his gaping hole of a mouth. I cringed my lips and wrinkled my nose. Got another child with no manners.
"Well that's nice, I didn't hear nothing 'bout you." I threw a fork on the table for him.
"My name's Tom. I'm a friend of your momma's." He had the nerve to ignore my gesture of giving him a fork and just continues to cram the food down his throat. "We been seeing each other a while now. She thinks I could be good enough to be your daddy"
I thought about him being there for every meal, chewing with his mouth wide open. I thought about the extra load of laundry and my having to fold his under roos. I thought about his being there all the time to keep momma in a happily distracted state of mind.
I sauntered over to him, gently picked up his plate, wound up and threw it against the wall. Tootie starts screaming like her little 4 year old self and Buddy shouts newly learned profanity.
"What the hell? Are you crazy, bitch?" My 'new daddy' yells. His voice strangling my hearing. Momma runs in with nothing on but a pink silk robe that she's tying up.
"What is going on out here? Cheyenne Lindsay Leigh Sinclair, what in God's name are you thinking?"
I ran away. I ran right out the door, ran down the street, ran all across town. Barefoot, I didn't care. I made it to the salon where my grandmomma was at. I sat with her while she got her nails done and talked about Trudy Evelgate's new affair with her mailman. I didn't say nothin', it was nice hearing about someone who wasn't momma.
When we got back Tom was still there, and he didn't leave for 2 more years. Not until he figured out that my momma was crazy. The kind of crazy you'd only find figure out if you lived with them.
Sure enough in two weeks time we were off again. Momma couldn't handle being in the same place as Tom with the same memories of him, left to only think of him everywhere she turns, blah blah blah.
I sat in the front of the car with the windows rolled down. Buddy screaming in the back, Tootie and her now controllable blatter, yet uncontrollable hunger. No air conditioner only torn up fans from the church. Within 20 minutes time, the kids fall asleep and momma starts.
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